The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary

:-)   Your basic smilie.  This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking 
       statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.

;-)   Winky smilie.  User just made a flitatious and/or sarcastic remark. 
       More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.

:-(   Frowning smilie.  User did not like that last statement or is
      upset or depressed about something.

:-I   Indifferent smilie.  Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite
       as good as a happy smilie.

:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark.  Worse than a :-).

>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.

>;->  Winky and devilish combined.  A very lewd remark was just made.

Some less common smilies:

(-:   User is left handed.

%-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight.

:*)   User is drunk.

[:]   User is a robot.

8-)   User is wearing sunglasses.

B:-)  Sunglasses on top of head.

::-)  User wears normal glasses.

B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses.

8:-)  User is a little girl.

:-{)  User has a mustache.

:-{}  User wears lipstick.

{:-)  User wears a toupee.

}:-(  Toupee in a updraft.

:-7   User just made a wry statement.

:-[   User is a vampire.

:-E   User is a bucktoothed vampire.

:-F   User is a bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.

:-*   User just ate something sour.

:-)~  User drools.

:-~)  User has a cold.

:'-(  User is crying.

:'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying.

:-@   User is screaming.

:-#   User wears braces.

:^)   User has a broken nose.

:v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way.

:<)   User is from an Ivy League School.

:-&   User is tongue tied.

---:-) User is a punk rocker.

---:-( Real punk rockers don't smile.

:=)   User has two noses.

+-:-) User is the Pope or holds someother religious office.

`:-)  User shaved off one of his/her eyebrows this morning.

,:-)  Same thing ... other eyebrow.

|-I   User is asleep.

|-O   User is yawning/snoring.

:-Q   User is a smoker.

:-?   User smokes a pipe.

O-)   Megaton Men on Patrol! (or else, user is a scuba diver)

O :-) User is an angel. (or atleast one at heart)

:-P   NYAHHHH!!

:-S   User just made an incoherent statement.

:-D   User is laughing. (at you!)

:-x   Users lips are sealed.

:-C   User is really bummed.

:-/   User is skeptical.

C=:-) User is a chef.

@=    User is pro-nuclear war.

:-O   Uh oh!

(8-O  It's Mr. Bill!

3:]   Pet smilie.

3:[   Mean pet smilie.

E-:-) User is a Ham Radio operator.

:-9   User is licking his/her lips.

%-6   User is braindead.

[:-)  User is wearing a walkman.

(:I   User is a Egghead.

<:-I  User is a dunce.

@:-)  User is wearing a turban.

:-0   No yelling!! (Quiet Lab)

|.-)  User only has one eye.

,-)   Ditto...but now winking.

X-(   User just died.

C=}>;*{))  Mega-Smilie... A drunk, develish chef with a toupee in an
          updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.

NOTE: A lot of these smilies can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.

:)    Midget smilie.

:]    Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly be your friend.